Tips For Moms: Going From One Kid To Two

There seems to be a baby boom happening within the momstown Oakville community!  We have many mamas that will soon be moving from a family of three to a family of four, so we recently got some of these mamas together to talk about transitioning from one child to two. Here are some top tips that came out of the discussion:

1.  The older child is going to be more work than the baby (well, probably anyway).  This concept seems pretty foreign as I know we all remember it feeling like a ton of work the first time around!  But remember this...the baby stays in one spot!  Your older child will not!  Finding things to do to keep your older child busy (especially when you have to feed the baby) is crucial.

• Television is not the enemy!  We all use it (more than we all admit) and sometimes its a necessity. Remember that the phase of having a newborn and a toddler/preschooler will not last and if you rely on tv more than you would like at the beginning, its okay.  Really, it is.
• Get help!  Don't be afraid to ask your inlaws, parents, neighbours, siblings, friends, etc to help out and take the older child to an activity or to come over and play with them.
• Find a source of support.  momstown Oakville is a fabulous supportive community that not only offers activities for your older child but also peer support and a link to community resources.  One of our members said "being a member of momstown is actually one of the things that helped me most with adjusting to life with baby #2."

2.  Don't be afraid to get new gear.  If you didn't have some of these with your first baby, might be worth a look.

• A great sling to carry baby so that you can be hands free for your other child.
• A white noise machine to keep the kids from waking each other up in the night (or day!)
• Video monitor.  Can save you some time of having to go up and see baby or older child.  The monitor can show you if they are just rolling over and making noise to get comfy again, lost a soother so you know you need to go up, etc.  The Motorola colour video monitor or a web cam with a D-link app were two options that have been frequently suggested.
• Double stroller.  
• Stork special from SupperWorks.  They wave the fee to put the meals together for you if you order the Stork Special within 3 months after having a baby.  I used this both times I had children, so helpful.

My son giving his newborn sister a hug

3. Include the older child.

• No matter what age your older child will be when the baby arrives, chances are they will want to feel included.  Can they help you bath the baby or go get a diaper for you?  Give them a special role like always putting the blanket over baby in the carseat (with help of course).
• Lots of mamas said that they had the older child pick out a gift to give to the baby when he/she arrived and had the baby give a gift to the older sibling too to create more of a celebratory feeling.
• There are lots of great books about being a big brother or big sister that you can start to read as your due date approaches such as I'm a Big Brother or I'm a Big Sister by Joanna Cole.
• Your older child might actually end up being more helpful than you thought, give them a chance to pitch in.  Love this blog post on Mastering The Art Of Couch Parenting (great tips for when you are stuck on the couch cluster feeding)!

4.  Prepare ahead of time.

• Stock your freezer!  Here is a great source for freezer friendly meals.
• Buy in bulk so you don't have to worry about running out of toilet paper, paper towel, etc in the first few weeks of baby's arrival

5.  Give yourself a pat on the back.

• There will be some tough days, but try not to sweat it.  If you don't get dressed and end up tossing in a frozen pizza for dinner, well, at least you had dinner, right??  It will get better and if you are doing the best you can then there is nothing more to worry about!

What other tips helped you get through adding a new baby to your family?  Share your tips for those mamas expecting baby #2!