I lost my Dad suddenly almost 16 years ago. My family was devastated and we were forever changed in a way that would impact us for the rest of our lives. I know first hand that losing a parent is hard and I think I can say with certainty that losing a child would be harder. I think the saying goes - "lose a parent and you lose your past, lose a spouse and you lose the present, lose a child and you lose your future."
Like any situation, you can choose how you handle things. Grief is awful. It has mental, spiritual and physical effects and everyone grieves differently. There can't be a prescribed way for people to grieve and you can't expect others to react that same was as you might. One of the things I admire about Heather is her choice to turn her sadness and grief into something positive. You can read the story of Zack's Dream Room here.
I remember attending a funeral for my good friend's father when I was in my early 20's. It had been about 3 years since my own father had passed away and funerals were still really hard for me. I remember just sobbing at this one in particular and not over the loss of my friend's Dad (he was a great man, but we weren't close) but because I knew the road that lay ahead for her and how awful it was. And I think that is why I am feeling sad this week as I think of Heather, I know how much it can hurt and how hard it can be to find your way to a new normal.
Unfortunately, I am sure many of you know parents who have lost a child (or even a parent or sibling) and it is always hard to know what to say or do in these circumstances. Tips on helping others through pregnancy and infant loss can be found here and here as well as some suggestions on what not to do when helping someone through the loss of a loved one and some ideas that may be helpful.
