Christmas Is Feeling Very Christmas-y This Year

At first I couldn't but my finger on it, but for some reason, Christmas is just feeling more Christmas-y to me this year.  I am enjoying the season more, looking forward to celebrating with family and friends and love watching my kids get more and more excited as we get closer to Christmas morning.  So what's different this year I had to wonder?  Here is the list I came up with:

• No more sleepless nights
• No more diapers (pull ups at night don't count)
• No more pureed food, high chairs, bottles or breastfeeding
• No more pulling ornaments off the tree (well, mostly no more)
• No more tears at the sight of Santa

Almost one year old.  Don't be fooled...he lost it the minute this photo ended! We got very lucky!

Don't get me wrong, this is not to say that I have not enjoyed the past four Christmases since my son and then my daughter were born but I'll be honest, I'm enjoying it all a lot more this year! As my kids get older, their enjoyment of the holidays fuels my enjoyment to an exponential level.  And while a baby is adorably cute in a Santa suit or a reindeer onesie, they still wake you up in the middle of the night making Christmas morning foggy!  Both my kids 'get' (and believe in) Santa this year.  They love the snow and want to play in it as opposed to just being bundled up in a snowsuit and not being able to move (see picture below).

Doesn't she look thrilled to be bundled up?

I look back on the pictures of my kids on both of their first Christmases with fond memories and I love the ornaments we have added to the tree over the years that have their pictures as babies but I am so looking forward to this Christmas and the ones to come.  So my words of wisdom (unsolicited, I know) to those mamas who are still in the 'foggy years' (to me that means at least one kid under two, mamas that have multiple kids under 3 or 4 years of age, etc) is to enjoy the season the best you can but don't feel bad if it doesn't seem all that Christmas-y.  It will come!

Christmas Eve Traditions

Once the kids are tucked into bed on Christmas Eve, my husband and I crack open a good bottle of wine and enjoy a cheese tray while we watch Love Actually.  This has been our tradition since my son was born five years ago.  Because we've seen the movie so many times, we mostly talk and watch at the same time. The glow from the Christmas tree provides lovely ambience and we take a quiet moment, just the two of us, before the Christmas morning chaos arrives.  We think of this as a special occasion and so it requires special wine and special cheese! Here are my picks that have made it into our Christmas Eve soiree.

Cheeses

Dubliner - I first tried this cheese at a Mother's Day event and have bought it many times since then.  It comes from Ireland (as the name suggests) and is a mix between sharp cheddar and parmegiano.

English Applewood Smoked Cheddar - Smoked cheddar is very holiday-ish to me.  Its got a richer flavour then traditional cheddar but is very palatable even for those that aren't into fancy cheeses.

Oka Classique - This is a Canadian classic and appeals to everyone (even kids) but its a but fancier than something you may buy every day.

Saint Honore - Triple cream cheese.  Need I say more.  This is an award winning cheese that is the perfect decadent finish to any cheese tray.

Le Douanier - I tried this cheese for the first time at momstown's recent Fall conference.  It was served at our wine and cheese event at Chateau Des Charmes and I just loved it!  Similar to French Morbier, this semi soft cheese is split with a thin line of grey-blue ash made from maple wood.  Very unique and very delicious!

Le Douanier (photo credit)

Wines

Konzelmann's Pinot Noir - One of my faves!

Chateau Des Charmes' Earth & Sky Riesling - I'm actually not much of a white wine fan (red is much more my thing) but I really liked this one when I tried it recently.

Mitolo Jester Shiraz - Often the wine I bring as a gift for the hosts

Wyndham Estate Bin 555 Shiraz - A family favourite

Beringer California Collection Cabernet Sauvignon - Very well priced, tasty, and goes well with just about anything in my opinion!

Hopefully I've made a few suggestions that have piqued your interest.  Whether you add these to your Christmas Eve or another holiday occasion, I hope you enjoy!

Five Games You Need To Play With Your Children

There are games that kids love to play but this blog post is focused on games that parents love to play that kids also enjoy.  Everyone has those days where you are just too exhausted to play hide and seek again or you just want to stay sitting or lying down and not play monsters or dance party!  These games make an appearance in my house, number one and five being the favourites these days and I am thrilled when the kids want to play what I want to play.

Read on to find out why you need to play these games at your house.

1.  Put me to sleep
This game came to my attention before I even had kids.  My niece loved to play this game.  She made you lie down but would get you a pillow and cover you in blankets and tell you to go to sleep.  She would even turn off the lights.  My daughter now likes to play this game and gives me her 'blankey' and covers me up and then comes back to ask if I need water,  a kiss, another story, etc.  But really, it provides me with 20-30 minutes of lying down.  I may or may not have dozed off once or twice.

2. Find the perfect flower
I was talking to my friend on the phone one sunny summer afternoon and she was home with her 3 year old daughter.  They were outside on the back deck and during the conversation her daughter would come and bring my friend a flower and she would reply with something not quite right about the flower (needs more petals, any pink ones, stem too short or too long) and then the 3 year old would run back out to the lawn in search of the perfect flower.  Genius if you ask me.  My friend and I had a lovely 30+ minute conversation.

3.  Clean the windows
Spray bottles.  If you don't have any, you need to get some.  Fill them with water, give them to your children along with a rag and then have a seat!  This is great all year round as they can to the indoor windows in the winter and outdoor windows in the summer.  And let your creativity guide you!  Spray bottles can clean patio furniture, bikes, trikes and wagons, and toys too.  A spray bottle is a very good tool to have in your arsenal of things to keep'em busy.

4.  Hair salon
I will admit, there may be some pain involved in this one.  All you need is a comb or brush and some clips or elastics.  Sit on the floor and let you kids play hair dresser.  You tend to get a nice enough head massage and several minutes just to sit still.

5. Sort the money
This one is certainly for older kids.  My son loves to empty his piggy bank and sort coins into piles or types. He loads the money into his toy dump trucks, skid steer or pick up truck and then takes the time to put all the coins back into his bank.  And repeat.  I do stay close during this activity but sitting on the kitchen floor reading my book is not a bad way to pass 45 minutes.

What activities do you find keep your kids busy long enough for you to sneak in a cup of tea or a few pages of a good book?

What To Do With The Money In The Piggy Bank?

When my each of my kids were born, they received a piggy bank with twenty dollars in coins inside.  As time went on, more change was added to each bank, either from grandparents or my husband or I sticking some extra change in there.  Up until about a few months ago, neither child every really expressed an interest in the piggy bank or what was inside.  But now that my son is four years old, he understands that there is money inside his piggy and started taking it out to sort the coins.  When I would take him to various stores with me, he would ask about buying toys and I would reply that I didn't have money for toys on that particular day.  Well, the light bulb went on one day and he replied "but I have money in my piggy back so I can buy it, right?"

The Big Purchase - Lego Coast Guard Truck & Trailer

Huh.  He was right.  I knew this day would come eventually.  And while I don't want him spending all that money on toys, I didn't really have a good reason about why he couldn't.  He has a bank account for savings and we'd never talked about his piggy bank money with him or determined what use it was going to have. When we got home he took his bank and opened it and started sorting his money.  I helped him count out how much he would need.  We explained to him that if he took the money out to buy this toy, there wouldn't be a lot of money left in his bank.  He said he understood and so we planned a trip to the store for the next day.

He proudly held the little bag I had put his money in all the way to the store and proudly handed it over to the cashier.  This incident made me realize that it is really time to start talking to him about money, about its value and educate him on money management.  When he turns five, we'll start him on an allowance.  Click here for some great tips on starting kids on an allowance.  I really like the "some for savings, some for sharing" idea and then the rest they can decide on how to spend it.

Do you give your kids an allowance?  Any tips or strategies that work for you?

When You Have To Be 'That Mom'

Whether you've already experience this or not, there will come a point in your parenting life when you are going to need to be 'that mom'.  You know, the one people think is over reacting or being too cautious or too assertive.  The one that won't stop fighting for something that may be right for their child even though its not easy for others to understand or easy for others to do.  At some point, every mom is going to have their turn at being 'that mom'.  Food allergies, academic or behaviour challenges, developmental challenges, health challenges...the list is long when it comes to things that moms will become advocates for if it means protecting, helping or improving the lives of their children.

But here is the tricky part.  While your gut may be telling you, screaming at you, that you have every right to speak up, push and demand answers, there will always be some part of you that wonders if you are being too unreasonable, to pushy, or bordering on the status of helicopter parent.  I guess self doubt is just a typical feeling, something that is hard to shut out 100%, but I think its also because during the time when you've got your back up, you can't help but notice that other moms don't have to fight the same fights.  That is a catalyst for self doubt too.  Your gut is never wrong though, and most moms know that, even if sometimes they don't realize it until after a situation has transpired.  Haven't you ever said "I knew I should have..."? 

Next time a friend is telling you about a situation they are dealing with where they have to advocate for their kids, just offer your support.  It doesn't feel good to be 'that mom'.  It doesn't feel good to feel like no one is on the same page when it comes to what is best for your kids or that you aren't being taken seriously.  And as we all go through the prime parenting years (its a lot of years!), every mom will have to face the feeling of being 'that mom' at some point.  All I can say is that you should trust yourself.  Being outside your comfort zone is tough, but you will never regret fighting to make sure your child gets what they need.

This time of year is ripe with advocacy situations as we all settle into new routines, new schools and new teachers.  Go easy on yourself!  There is lots of talk about how the kids are adjusting to the new school year, but that doesn't mean the adjustment isn't just as hard for you.

Tips For Running Your First 10KM Race

On Sunday, September 22nd I will be running my first 10km race as part of the Oakville Half Marathon. And before you listen to the voices in your head that say "I could never run a 10km race", just hear me out because you can run a 10km race too.  It all started in the Spring when my sister and I were lamenting over the lack of exercise we had been doing and wanting to make a change.  A few days later she called me up and said, I think I might sign up for a race as it would give me something to work towards.  My response?  Great idea!  She found a 10km race in Oakville that was in September, several months away so that we'd have time to train, and we both signed up as did a few other mamas I know.  Am I a runner?  No.  Have I ever done a race before?  One.  The 5km Run For The Cure in Burlington last year with not one pre-run completed before race day (not something I would recommend!).

momstown Oakville's 2012 Run for the Cure team

We're now only three weeks away from the big race and here is what I have learned and what I wanted to share with others who may be even remotely thinking about doing the same thing.

1.  My sister had a good idea, signing up for a race makes a big difference.  I never would be running as far as I am if I wasn't signed up for a race.  Once you sign up for the race, chances are you will tell people that you signed up and this is another factor in making sure you do it!  Race day is also fun - people cheering you on, maybe a t-shirt or a race bib, and usually some free snacks at the end.  I got a t-shirt when I did the 5km race and every time I pull it out of my drawer I still feel good that I did the race.

2.  Find a running buddy.  Without my running buddy I never would have run as often or as far as we have (thanks Nora!). We chat during our runs and naturally, you will push yourself more if you are running with another person. She says I improve her pace and she pushes me to do longer distances.

3. Keep it realistic.  There are lots of options for training such as signing up for a running clinic, doing an online program or just setting your own weekly goals.  Don't join a running group that commits you to 4 nights a week if there is no way that you will get there.  It will discourage you.  As a mom with young kids, its a constant battle to make time for myself to exercise so I have been running 1-2 a week, slowly increasing the distance.  We've also been running what is knows as 10 & 1's meaning we run for 10 minutes and walk for a minute.  In my head I always tell myself that I was in labour for longer than 10 minutes so I can certainly get through 10 minutes of running if I birthed two children!

4.  Try and enjoy it, but no pressure.  Not going to lie, losing weight is a nice by product of exercise but don't make it the sole reason that you commit to doing a race.  You may lose weight, you may not, depending on if you change your diet or how often you are running.  Remember that making an exercise program a priority is an improvement in your life if you haven't been doing that before.  You are also setting a good example for your kids, improving your overall health and wellness.  I have also enjoyed seeing different neighbourhoods during the course of our runs and now that the leaves are starting to change, the scenery is getting even better.

5.  Evaluate.  Overall, have I enjoyed training for this race?  Sort of.  I have enjoyed seeing my friend more often as we've been running together once a week.  I have enjoyed feeling my muscles work, accomplishing new things and challenging myself, but I don't think long distance running is for me.  I just don't enjoy it that much.  I've never gotten the runners high or felt like I could run for hours (apparently this really does happen to some people!).  I think a perfect race for me would be 8km and I'd rather work on getting faster for a shorter race than aiming for longer distances.  I have learned that there are tons of different types of races like mud runs, runs with obstacle courses, etc and I think these might be more my style.  I need to change things up so am also thinking about a mini triathalon as I think I would enjoy it more. The running has made me think about what type of activity I do like and has reminded me how much I enjoy playing team sports like soccer or hockey so I am trying to work that into the rest of my year.

So, after all that, have I convinced you that you too can run a 10km race?  You can, I promise you, you can. I encourage you to push yourself towards a fitness challenge that might be a bit of a stretch.  My guess is you'll surprise yourself just like my fellow momstown Edmonton mamas did when they signed up for a half marathon!  Read more about their journey here.  It's pretty incredible what you can accomplish when you push yourself outside your comfort zone.  Stay tuned for my post race blog post and wish me luck!

No Tears For This First Time Kindergarten Mom

My son starts Junior Kindergarten this week.  Its a gradual entry, so in my mind, he doesn't officially start until next week as his first full day won't be until then.  This time of year you see lots of blog posts, articles and media about sending kids off to school for the first time and the tears that may come from mom and/or dad. Last weekend my mother in law told me she bawled when my husband went off to kindergarten. Maybe the tears will hit me later, but right now I am so excited and so proud of my son, the tears are no where to be found.

My son, just one day old

My little boy is a sweet and social kid.  He's been in daycare so he's used to being in a group of kids, used to following instructions and being away from his parents.  I know he'll be a bit timid going to a new school and the transition will be hard as he leaves the daycare friends he's had for the past three years. But I also know that in a month or two he'll have new friends and thrive learning so many new things and getting more and more chances to be a big kid.  And that makes me so proud.  Proud that over the past four years we've done what we needed to do to get him ready for this next step.  Proud that he gets so excited over new accomplishments whether its learning the monkey bars or holding a pencil correctly or jumping higher than he could before.  Excited that he will continue to learn social skills like compassion, kindness and respect. Even the tough moments that he will face such as disappointment, losing and being left out are opportunities for him to grow and to learn that he can choose his reactions to those moments.  These are key moments in life and they shape the person you become.  I am here for him to navigate these challenges and help him thrive in spite of them.

I look at him and just can't help but be excited to see what he will continue to grow up to be.  To watch his interests grow and knowledge increase and his life become bigger as he starts school.  I guess there is a bit of sadness too, but its such a pleasure to watch this kid grow.  I've got a smile planted on my face and I watch with pride as my baby continues to surprise me, make me laugh and amaze me with the person he continues to become.  Looking forward to a great school year ahead!

Arrival of the Royal Baby Is Exciting, But My Heart Goes Out To Prince William

I was part of the crew anxiously waiting for Royal Baby news yesterday.  I guessed correctly that a new Prince would be born and I can't wait to see a picture of the new little guy and find out the name that has been chosen.  It is a very exciting time and nice to be flooded with good news for a change.

As the world focuses on the new mom and the bundle of joy, William will, like most new Dads, get pushed to the back of the spotlight for a little bit.  But I feel for him.  I just can't forget that he is experiencing one of the best things that can happen in life but at the same time, must be fiercely missing his Mom.  It always seems to be the large life events that allow heartache to creep back in even if its been decades since the loss of a loved one.  Coincidentally, my Dad and Princess Diana both died in August of 1997.

Prince William will be overjoyed while holding his new son, he will marvel at the amazing strength of his wife, at the outpouring of love and support from family and friends but I know he would just love to have his Mom teach him how to swaddle a newborn baby.  He would love to have her walk the halls with the baby during a fussy period or capture a picture of his Mom holding his son and her pride of being a first time Grandmother. He would also be gaining a new perspective and understanding about the love his mother had for him, something all adult children realize once they have a child of their own. Royal or not, this wonderful time will be slightly overshadowed for William by Princess Diana's absence.

But as they settle into their new life as a family of three, William will catch glimpses of Diana in his son, whether it be his smile, a mannerism or perhaps his eyes.  I have no doubt that William will find a way to pull Diana into the life of his little one (and any future little ones!) and speak about her, show pictures and talk about what his Mom was like.  There has already been speculation that the polka dot dress that Kate wore yesterday when leaving the hospital was a tribute to Diana.

I wish the new parents all the best and think the new Prince has a very bright future ahead.  How can he not with a incredible destiny already predetermined and with Diana looking out for him wherever she may be.

A Funny Thing Happened At The Grocery Store

As I was out and about doing errands and getting ready for a week at the cottage, I stopped in at a grocery store where I don’t normally shop, but fit in better with my route that day.  When I got to the checkout, the cashier asked me if I needed bags.  Turns out, I did.  Normally, the cashier counts the bags you need and hands them to you to pack your own groceries.  This time was different.

The cashier started bagging my groceries in the manner that used to be common practice.  She bagged them right after she scanned them, carefully taking the time to pack things well and maximize the bag space.  She bagged my berries in a produce bag, in case they were to open, and then added them to the grocery bag.

While this was going on, I was thinking two things:
1) This was taking forever!  I for sure could have done it faster, even if my method was just to chuck things into the bags or bins I brought.
2)  I felt awkward just standing there watching her do all this while I did nothing to help.

Upon further reflection, I realized that this was how grocery shopping used to be done all the time.  And I even remember there being a big of outrage amongst society when they took away the bagging/free plastic bags. But how quickly we've gotten used to adding things to our lives that continue to let us rush, full speed ahead. I actually have been stressed at the checkout because the cashier moves right into processing the groceries in the order behind you, leaving me scrambling to get my stuff bagged before the shopper behind me also wants to come to the end of the checkout and bag their items.  Or there is even a hold up in scanning because the cashier can just whip through customers now that they don’t stop to help bag the groceries.

And so yes, I also felt awkward.  So what did I do when faced with a situation where small talk seemed appropriate with a complete stranger?  Break out my smart phone of course!  I say this in jest, it’s not like I don’t ever make small talk with a customer service person, but the difference in this case was that the transaction was long!  We are so used to everything being rushed, being automated or having the option to do a self-checkout that this situation where the whole transaction took 20 minutes left me feeling awkward with not much to say and awkward that the cashier was doing all the work while I watched.

So which way is better?  Interestingly enough, if my kids would have been with me, having someone bag all of my groceries would have seemed like a huge help.  But when it was just me, I was more focused on finishing the errand so I could move on to the other three I still had to do.  And people don’t seem to value the relationships they have with their local stores like they used to…remember when everyone used to write personal cheques for groceries?  I remember my Grandma paying that way.

There certainly is no going back.  I don’t think we’ll ever have people bagging groceries all the time but I also didn't like the uncomfortable feeling I had when it came to having to slow down and get wait for someone to do what they considered part of their job.  Another quick reminder to slow down my pace and take a minute to talk to people who are happily lending a helping hand.

I Actually Picked Up The Phone And Called A Friend

For no particular reason, I actually picked up the phone, dialed a 10 digit number and called a friend the other day just to chat.  While we were speaking, we both marvelled at the fact that we never speak on the phone anymore.  We text, we use Blackberry messenger, we communicate via Facebook and we see each other in person.  In about 10 short years I have gone from a bit of a phone-aholic to hardly using a phone at all!

Hilariously the friend I called this week has a nickname in my family of "Telephone Katie" due to the fact that we used to talk on the phone so much.  Remember when Bell Canada used to have the $20 unlimited long distance phone plan?  And remember when they used to have a bubble at the top of your bill stating how much you saved that month in long distance charges?  Well when "Telephone Katie" and I were living in different locations (I have known Katie since childhood and we also went off to university together) for the summer after our second year of university, my Bell bill used to tell me that I was saving upwards of $800 a month!!

And an earlier memory has me thinking about the hours I used to spend talking to my grade eight boyfriend on the phone after school - lying on my back on my bed, head hanging over the side so I was sort of upside down, feet up on the wall.  Not going to lie, I always thought the lip shaped phone that DJ Tanner had on Full House was very cool.  And remember having another line?  I don't think anyone has that feature anymore as phone lines aren't nearly as tied up as they used to be.

Swatch phone!  Did you have a cool phone?

I got my first cell phone in my final year of university because with five girls in the house, the phone was never free!  Fast forward to 2013 and that house would have probably not even had a land line but five handheld devices and at least a few tablet computers.

So I'm trying to think about what my kids will do to connect with their peers for hours on end when they are teenagers....constant text messaging (doesn't seem nearly as fun as hours spent on the phone) or abundant use of Twitter?  Given that my oldest won't be a teenager for nine more years (which scares me to even type that as I know it will only feel like a nano second) and the amount that has changed in the world of technology over the last ten years, I am sure they will be using something that hasn't even been invented yet.

Photo credit

I have to say, long phone conversations coming back would be fine in my book - probably the easiest way for Mom and Dad to do a little investigation as to what is going on (I realize now that even with the door to my room shut, my parents could for sure here snippets of conversations without much effort)...much harder to get a glimpse at texts on a handheld device!  I feel like the phone call is the new hand written letter.  When I was a kid, when you got a gift from a Grandparent or other extended family member, we had to write them a thank you note.  Now the more formal way to thank someone would be to actually pick up the phone and call them to say thanks.  

And yes, writing this post has made me feel old because I have actual 'olden days' things to reminisce about and will be teaching my kids about things that they will only ever see in history books but were common place in my childhood!

Happy Father's Day - From My Kids To Their Dad

My kids are too young to actually write a note to their Dad for Father's Day but I write this from their perspective based on what I see in their eyes, their smiles and their joy.  My own two cents may be thrown in as well, as how can I not thank the guy who always seems to get the job of cleaning up various bodily fluids from two children!

• Thank you Dad, for always giving me 'one last kiss' before bed
• Thank you Dad, for being okay with your arm falling asleep as I take a nap on you when I am sick
• Thank you Dad, for putting together my Lego fire station again and again and again
• Thank you Dad, for letting me help with chores outside even though it takes you longer when I do
• Thank you Dad, for sharing your food with me, even if it means I end up eating your whole sandwich and you don't get any at all
• Thank you Dad, for your patience when I insist on doing up my own car seat buckle and it takes me awhile 
• Thank you Dad, for showing me how to do so many new things like using the hose sprayer, drinking from a 'big kid' water bottle, putting my clothes away and so much more
• Thank you Dad, for taking the time to do something special with us, one on one like going for pancakes or trips to Home Depot
• Thank you Dad, for learning to take out ponytails
• Thank you Dad, for taking care of us when we are sick, for doing the laundry at 2 AM so we get our favourite blankets back as soon as possible
• Thank you Dad, for all the hugs and snuggles
• Thank you Dad, for making us feel important and loved
• Thank you Dad, in advance, for the million other things you will do for us

It is a pleasure to watch my husband be a Father to my kids.  I feel very lucky that he not only loves his role as a Father but is an equal contributor to our parenting team.

Happy Father's Day Daddy-O (from the mouth of my two year old daughter)!

Yikes. Who's Ready For The Tween and Teen Years?

In the last month, I have participated in events that involved large groups of grade 7 & 8 students.  I know, sounds fun, right?  One group was pretty well behaved, lots of 'please' and 'thank yous', manageable noise levels and appreciation for the experience they were having.  Then there was the other group.  Rude, loud, ungrateful and impatient.  Why the big difference between the two groups?

I'm never going to know the answer to that as I don't know their family background, much about their school or their community but I certainly was left wondering about the differences.  The group that was not well behaved seemed to be cursed with the negative generalities of the millennial generation.  They wanted more no matter what was given to them and didn't have any appreciation for what they were given, they had a very short attention span (they asked if there was a movie they could watch during lunch...which was 20 minutes!) and they had no respect for others around them (we received complaints about their noise levels).

Obviously the alarm bells starting ringing for me since I have yet to go through this with my kids and this left me scared!  My oldest is 4 years old which means I have about another 7 or 8 years before I get to this stage.  My mom often says that she didn't find the teenage years with my siblings and I all that bad.  Must remember to pick her brain immediately to find out how this was accomplished!

Eight years is a long way away and so I have lots of time to teach my kids and to model the behaviour that will get them to be respectful, appreciative, courteous and pleasant.  But I know they are always watching and I know that there are teachable moments relating to this issue every single day.  Sigh.  Parenting is a bit of a tough gig, right?  Ha - as if this is news to anyone reading!  Its hard to picture my two little bundles of sweetness turning into grumpy, gangly tweens and teens but I know it will happen.

Even if your kids are just babies, do you ever find yourself thinking about their tween or teenage years and how you will handle those challenges?  I don't think about it a lot, but will take my recent experience as a reminder to continue to parent in a way that will help my kids be people that both they and my husband and I can be proud of.

Combining Focus And Feelings For Business Success

It's been one week since the entire momstown team gathered together for our 7th National conference.  We were lucky enough to be hosted again by Fern Resort, an amazing family resort in Orillia.  After settling in on Friday night, the work really began on Saturday as we talked about finding focus in our businesses and about how feelings can contribute to the success or failure of your business.  Do you think feelings play a major role in your career choices and overall successes?

Starting with focus, the momstown team headed out to Fern Resort's archery area to take aim at our targets! This was a great interactive and hands on activity and had me thinking about what I was going to picture on the target as I lined up my bow and arrow and took aim.  One of the most challenging things about being an entrepreneur, in my opinion, is trying to keep focus.  Entrepreneurs have to be a 'jack of all trades' and while that is sometimes part of the excitement, it can derail businesses who lack focus.

Next up we had the pleasure of working with Jen Bodenham, owner of career & life Coaching business Gleaming and Dreaming.  Jen took us through lots of thought provoking work and at the end of our session, each momstown team member had compiled a list of core desired feelings (based on Danielle Laporte's Desire Map).

I'll be honest, this was the third National momstown conference I have attended and this one was by far the hardest!  We really drilled down into some tough topics and forced ourselves to focus and admit what we were feeling.  The result?  A renewed sense of commitment, motivation to stay focused and execute our plans and work towards the brave goal to 'stand in your own truth'.

Among the hard work though, were the things I like very best at our National conferences.  Tons of idea sharing (we had best practices presentations which were incredibly helpful), creation of more programs for momstown members and time to leverage the amazing resources we have - our team members and our momstown leadership team.  And of course some fun and goodies thrown in there too!  Many thanks not only to Fern Resort, but to our other awesome conference sponsors as well.

Mattel Game On
Quaker Canada 
Twistos 
Goody Canada 
Mabels Labels
Barilla Pasta
Post Cereal 
Walmart Canada
Adult Essentials

Have you tried the new Quaker quinoa bars?

We all got one of these awesome jam packed loot bags!

The process to honour my core desired feelings has been a bit slow, but things are starting to move full steam ahead and I couldn't be more ready or more excited.  As always, the momstown National conference was full of key learnings and time well spent focusing on my business and its success.  I am so grateful to have a team of inspiring business owners who are on this journey with me.  Whatever you are working towards in your life and in your career, keep pushing and don't stop before the miracle happens!

Where do you find inspiration?

This morning I am hitting road and heading north to Fern Resort in Orillia for the momstown National Spring conference.  The entire momstown team (that's 25+ people!) will be together for four days to brainstorm, plan, work and learn and come back to our respective communities ready to elevate our businesses yet again.

These bi-annual conferences always get me thinking about inspiration.  Where do you find inspiration?  What motivates and inspires you to try something new, push yourself beyond your limits and reach your goals?  I am lucky that being a part of the momstown team allows me to find inspiration from so many amazing women each and every day!  When I think about all the other momstown chapter owners, there is not one person that doesn't come to my mind when I need a dose of inspiration.  Whether they have overcome personal challenges, continually taken risks and tried new things or achieved personal milestones while trying to balance the growth of their business, there is no shortage of impressive things happening among the momstown team.

Since our conference last May, everyone single momstown team member has huge accomplishments to be proud of.  And so this afternoon, when I sit in a room filled with women who have grown and flourished over the last 12 months, I feel pretty lucky to only have to turn my head in any direction to feel inspired, proud and motivated to continue to push on towards the big goals I have for myself and my business.

And We're Out Of The Baby Phase?!

I had a lovely Mother's Day weekend complete with a pedicure, a delicious breakfast, a spin class and some adorable hand made gifts from my kids.  This was my fourth Mother's Day and as I reflected on motherhood in general, I was left with the realization that we seem to be all of a sudden out of the baby phase?!

I know its not really 'all of a sudden', my youngest is two and it did take two years for her to get there of course, but lately my baby days seem to be far behind me.  I just bought the sheets that will go on my daughter's big girl bed and we will soon be moving the crib out into the garage and trying to figure out what to do with it.  I will be sad when we move it out, but am also really happy - we finally feel like we're not in crisis mode all the time!  I use the word 'crisis' with humour - we were never really in crisis.  But the sleepless nights, the nap time/feeding time routines are behind us, in fact, most of the time I don't even take a diaper bag out with me anymore as the list of what we need to leave the house has gotten a lot smaller.  Both kids can drink from cups, sit in regular chairs and eat regular foods, etc.

No more diaper bag!

We are also having a lot of fun!  Babies are cute, don't get me wrong, but kids are fun!  I love playing games with them, watching their creativity and their interests develop.  I love seeing them develop real friendships, ask questions and be curious about the world around them.  There are also a lot more things that we can do together, which I love.

And there there is the perk of feeling a bit more like myself.  While my kids are always on my mind and by no means self sufficient yet (when does that happen?  8 or 10 years old?) I do feel like I can focus a bit more on me and things that I used to have more time for.

I will miss my babies being babies (although getting a new niece at the end of July will satisfy my need for baby sweetness) but am also looking forward to a great summer!  Last summer we seemed to be divided a lot as my daughter was still having two naps so my husband was out and about with my son and I stayed close to home with her.  This summer, we are ready to explore all kinds of adventures as a family and I can't wait!

Barbara Coloroso Visits And Educates Oakville Parents

Last week I went to hear parenting expert Barbara Coloroso speak.  This is the second time I have been to hear one of her lectures and I was equally impressed this time as I was the last.  Speaking specifically to her book 'The Bully, The Bullied and The Bystander', she spent two hours addressing the current state of society our kids are growing up in, the impact of social media on bullying and providing concrete and helpful examples on how to raise strong, respectful and independent children.

I took many notes during the lecture, but some of the key tips I walked away with were:

• Teach your kids to do good because doing good is good to do, not because they will get a reward
• If your kids have mobile devices, they should only be able to charge them in your room overnight.  A high percentage of sexting and cyber bullying occurs in the late hours of the evening.  Kids are also loosing sleep by staying up on social media sites or playing online video games.
• Conflict is inevitable, violence is not.  Teach your kids how to deal with conflict so it does not escalate to violence.
• Teach your kids that their words have to pass through three gates.  Are the words true?  Are they necessary?  Are they kind?
• If your child is being bullied online, here is what they should do - stop the interaction, copy the comments, block the bully from their account, tell a person they trust
• Websites that can help parents navigate the internet and social media world are Wiredsafety.org, commonsense.org and netlingo.com

A final message she left us with was to try and get kids to care deeply, share generously and help willingly. These practices would decrease the society of mean our kids are currently growing up with and would hopefully help reduce the number of awful bullying stories we seem to hear on a weekly basis.

Oakville seems to get a fair number of really great parenting workshops and I look forward to attending more in the future.  Being a parent leaves you with so much to think about.  Even if you don't agree with everything said by a parenting expert, I find it helpful to hear other points of view and to take the time to focus on what your parenting values and beliefs are so you can reflect on how things are going and what things you may like to change.

Do you have a favourite parenting expert you use as your 'go to'?

Why Being An Entrepreneur Can Help You 'Lean In'

I think by now most people have heard of Sheryl Sandberg's new book called 'Lean In'.  In a recent interview with the author, the book was hailed as the new manifesto for all women and the new voice of feminism.  The overall ideas expressed in the book are that woman can and should do more to advance their careers but in order to achieve this ideal, society also has to change to create more equality.  And not just in the workplace but everywhere.

While I don't intend for this post to be a book review or a debate about the principles expressed, I can speak to the fact that I believe that entrepreneurship can be a key factor to having more women 'lean in' to the workforce.

For me one of the biggest barriers to sticking with a corporate career environment is the lack of flexibility.  I actually had an employer that offered me tons of flexibility, they were great about it, but it still wasn't enough. A company can only bend so much before it effects the company culture, the way the entire company does business and the inefficiencies of trying to use a 'one size, fits all' model.  I think that that is the hardest part. How can corporate companies accommodate hundreds of people so that they can try and be effective in their home life and their work life?  They can't.  And woman want that ability.  Enter the option to be an entrepreneur.

In a recent Globe and Mail article, this quote really struck a chord with me: "In fact, companies owned by women are the fastest-growing segment of the Canadian business sector, according to Foreign Affairs and International Trade Canada. The number of female entrepreneurs in Canada increased 208 per cent between 1981 and 2001, compared with an increase of 38 per cent for men."

I think woman are using entrepreneurship to redefine how we are leaning into our careers.  Sheryl Sandberg is right, society is not ready for woman to be more equal at every level and so  in the mean time we've come up with another way to continue to advance our career, but on our own terms.  I realize that being an entrepreneur is not for everyone, but for me it has enabled greater career and personal successes and at the same time provide the higher level of flexibility.  I don't think I could ever get such pliability from a traditional corporate role.

Have you ever though of being an entrepreneur?  Joining the momstown team has been a positive career move for me.  Interested in learning more?  Click here.

Alphabet Theme Birthday Party for Kids

My daughter is turning two this week (taking a moment to pause in disbelief that she is two already).  This past weekend we celebrated with family and decided on an alphabet themed birthday party for my little girl who loves letters and books.

She decided on a chocolate cake with white icing which I then dressed up with all the letters of the alphabet in pink and purple.  I made the letters using melting chocolate (you can purchase these wafers in all sorts of colours) and a mold.  After melting the chocolate, you pour it into the mold and then just leave it out until it hardens.  The chocolates popped out easily and turned out really well.

Alphabet themed birthday cake

I also wanted to add some decor to the house.  I took the birthday girl to pick out some special foil balloons and then I also added cut out letters to our dining room light fixture by hanging them from pieces of ribbon.

Alphabet chandelier (with birthday balloons in the background!)

A quick project with black construction paper and stick on sparkly foam letters made over our dining room hutch.  I put the letters on first and then taped the paper (letters facing out of course) to the inside of the glass doors on our dining room cabinet.

Alphabet birthday party decor

Once all the party guests had arrived (her cousins), we kept the kids busy with a letter craft project.  Each child got their initial on some construction paper and we provided markers, crayons, foam letters to stick on and a variety of stickers for them to use to decorate their page.

It was a great afternoon and I love that all her cousins live close enough that they could come and celebrate. We didn't give out loot bags but books would be an obvious choice or a gift card to a local bookstore or to Chapters so that party guests could go and pick out a new book themselves.

Since both my kids are winter babies, my birthday party planning is done for the year!  That means I have a whole 10 months to come up with themes for next year although my son is already telling me he wants to do a race cars theme again!

A Heavy Heart This Week - Dealing with Grief

This post has been rattling around in my head all week.  This week marks the two year anniversary that one of our head momstown mamas lost her son Zack.  I have only known Heather since September but her positive outlook on life and her ability to really embrace the present have resonated with me.  I don't know what to say to Heather this week as I know that there really are no words that can take away her pain, but I have let her know that I am thinking about her and her family.

I lost my Dad suddenly almost 16 years ago.  My family was devastated and we were forever changed in a way that would impact us for the rest of our lives.  I know first hand that losing a parent is hard and I think I can say with certainty that losing a child would be harder.  I think the saying goes - "lose a parent and you lose your past, lose a spouse and you lose the present, lose a child and you lose your future."

Like any situation, you can choose how you handle things.  Grief is awful.  It has mental, spiritual and physical effects and everyone grieves differently.  There can't be a prescribed way for people to grieve and you can't expect others to react that same was as you might.  One of the things I admire about Heather is her choice to turn her sadness and grief into something positive.  You can read the story of Zack's Dream Room here.

I remember attending a funeral for my good friend's father when I was in my early 20's.  It had been about 3 years since my own father had passed away and funerals were still really hard for me.  I remember just sobbing at this one in particular and not over the loss of my friend's Dad (he was a great man, but we weren't close) but because I knew the road that lay ahead for her and how awful it was.  And I think that is why I am feeling sad this week as I think of Heather, I know how much it can hurt and how hard it can be to find your way to a new normal.

Unfortunately, I am sure many of you know parents who have lost a child (or even a parent or sibling) and it is always hard to know what to say or do in these circumstances.  Tips on helping others through pregnancy and infant loss can be found here and here as well as some suggestions on what not to do when helping someone through the loss of a loved one and some ideas that may be helpful.

March Break Family Ski Vacations

Some of my fondest family memories are those from our frequent March Break ski vacations taken with my family and sometimes a few other families we were close friends with. My Dad was an avid skier and taught my siblings and I how to ski at a very young age on the local hills around where I grew up. When we were all finally old enough to go into ski school and there were no more naps or potty training to worry about, we hit the road and headed off to spend March Break on the slopes.

I remember spending the days outside both in ski school and skiing with my family and nights were spent playing games or night skiing or in a pool or hot tub. Looking back now I realize that I don't remember tv playing a roll at all in these vacations and that I was never bored!

We were fortunate to try several ski locations such as Searchmont in Sault Ste Marie, Mont-Sainte-Anne in Quebec or Smugglers' Notch in Vermont. I loved skiing right up to our chalet door and popping in for a hot chocolate or a snack. It was always a great feeling at the end of the day to put your feet up by the fire with tired legs and a wind burned face from racing down the mountain for hours each day. We often traveled with my friend's family and I laugh now thinking about the hilarious songs she and I used to make up as we rode up on the chairlift or of course as we got older, scoping out the slopes for cute boys!

 

Me and my husband - hitting the slopes in Lake Tahoe. Hopefully we can bring the kids one day!

My oldest child is now at the age where we could get him on skis, although I think we will wait one more year so that we can get both kids on skis at the same time. I hope as a family that my husband, kids and I are able to enjoy ski vacations and make memories of outdoor and active fun together. It's been awhile since I've been on skis, but I can't wait to get back out there. After years and years of great skiing memories I would love to bring the sport back into my life.

How did you and your family spend March Break when you were growing up?