A Working Mama: What I never even considered

I remember being in high school and talking about what career I wanted and where I wanted to do post secondary education.  There were many considerations in play - did I want to work in an office or not, physical work or more of a desk job, did I want to pursue a master's or a PhD and become a doctor or lawyer?  If I wanted to pursue a Business degree, would it be in Finance, Marketing or maybe Supply Chain Management?

It was exciting when all the colleges and universities came to my high school and wooed us with pictures of students having fun, interesting course names and of course the opportunity to move away from home!

But do you know what not one person mentioned to me while trying to decide on where my career might take me?  How will your future family fit into your career plans.

I know, I know....what is this, the 1950's?

And even if that question would have been posed, I'm sure I would have brushed it off for two reasons.

#1 - I was going to be a modern woman!  I could do it all, have my a career and a family!
#2 - Having a family was SO far from my mind, I don't think I could really even be clear on what that meant in terms of how my life would change.

Both of those reasons are still true...sort of.  I am a working mom.  To be clear, that phrase "working mom" applies to anyone who is a mother, I think.  We all work very hard.

I just recently went back to my office job at the end of my second maternity leave and I'll be very honest is saying that I am finding it much harder to juggle things at work than I did when I returned after having my first child.  What's different?  Well for one, I am also the proud new owner of momstown Oakville but I actually don't think that has a lot to do with my stress level.  momstown Oakville has actually provided me with a creative outlet and is something that I love to do.

What I find the hardest is being outside the home from 7:30am to 5:30pm, five days a week.  This means that all the household chores pile up and we are left scrambling after the kids are in bed and on the weekends to  hold things together.  I was tweeting with another mom yesterday and she joked that she hoped there were some clean clothes in her kids drawers that morning.  I completely know what she means.  I always feel like we "just did" laundry only to realize that  "just" was 5 days ago!  I struggle with getting nutritious and healthy meals on the table for dinner.  My 14 month old wants her dinner as soon as we walk in the door.  My 3 year old can wait until 6pm and eat with my husband and me.  But that means that we are trying to feed my daughter, cook dinner for the rest of us, and play with my son all at the same time, and all to be accomplished within about 20 minutes!  Sounds like fun, right?

I feel torn all the time.  A new thing that has happened since going back to work this time around is a physical reaction to the situation.  When I went back to work the first time, I missed my son, I did.  But this time, I feel a physical weight on my chest when I think about how much time I am missing with my kids.

So why am I working?  Good question.  A recent blog post I read said that the number one reason women returned to work was due to financial reasons.  I guess I'm kind of in that boat, it's certainly a factor.  But I also needed to see for myself how much I liked or disliked going back to work after two kids before I could make any big decisions.  I do like working and I am good at what I do.  However the lifestyle my family and I are currently living is not something easily sustained for a long time.  It's really hard to make it work.

I am working towards finding more flexibility in my work life and to be able to focus more on being the owner of momstown Oakville.  I love that job.  It really is the best of both worlds and the closest I have ever found to having some semblance of balance.  And us moms all know how hard that can be to find.

For now I will do my best to keep all the balls in the air and I am getting pretty good and turning away from the dirty dishes to play choo-choo's with my son.  Or leaving the laundry to go play outside instead.  Hydro rates are cheaper if you do laundry at midnight anyway!

So back to that original question.  Did any moms out there think about how their career choice was going to affect their family life later on?  In hindsight, I wish I would have thought of a career as a physio therapist or a pharmacist where there is more flexibility in hours or part time work was more readily an option.

And fast forward 20 years...what advice will I give my daughter about all this?  I think I'll have to save all that for another post.